Pray with expectation, not hesitation.

“And now, Lord, take note of their threats and grant that Your bond-servants may speak Your work with confidence, while You extend Your hand to heal, and signs and wonders take place through the name of Your holy servant Jesus.”  And when they had prayed, the place where they had gathered together was shaken, and they were all filled with the Holy Sprit and began to speak the word of God with boldness (Acts 4.29-31).

Two disciples, Peter and John, had just experienced the first persecution of this new movement by religious rulers of the day (Acts 4.1-12).  However, Peter and John were freed because it was unarguably clear, even to the religious leaders, that an absolute miracle had occurred in their midst.  The rulers, elders, and scribes in Jerusalem, the supposed experts on all things religious and spiritual, could not deny it (Acts 4:16).  So, Peter and John were released (Acts 4:21).  The prayer of the disciples acknowledged the faithfulness of the Creator of all things, the King of Heaven to do what He says He was going to do (Acts 4:24-26).   Not even the kings of the earth could stand against this Heavenly King.  As a result, their subsequent prayer was bold and confident.  The disciples expected that God would give them boldness to speak.  The disciples expected that God would continue to perform miracles to glorify Jesus.  They prayed with expectation, not hesitation.

Learning to pray with confidence and trust.

Recently, I have become convinced in my own life that I have lacked the courage to pray with expectation.  Sometimes it’s because I don’t want to pray a prayer and then when it doesn’t happen, I look like foolish.  If I’m honest, it’s because I don’t believe that God can actually do those things He says He will do.  Other times, the reason I don’t pray with expectation is because my prayers are really not about what God is doing, but about what I want to do.  In other words, I don’t pray because I want God to receive glory in whatever happens.  I pray because I want me to get attention, fame, or acknowledgement.

What I am learning is that praying with expectation just means that I pray in confidence that God is the Heavenly King over all creation and He wants to restore every person on earth to Himself.  God wants desperately for those who are far from Him to know Him, to be loved by Him, and to love Him.  Praying with expectation simply means that I am acknowledge who God is and so entreat Him and no one else.  It doesn’t mean that He will give me everything I pray for or want or desire, but if there’s someone that can do anything it’s Him.

The balancing tension on that is that I have to trust in God to do what He knows is good, right, and perfect.  I don’t fully understand why He doesn’t do some things and does others.  But I must trust that He cares more about His will being done on earth than I do.  I am selfish, self-centered, arrogant, and prideful and care more about my will than God’s will.   Thank you God for Jesus, who saves me in spite of that!

Pray and then act.

So what the disciples taught me in that prayer was that I can pray with expectation, not hesitation, because He is already redeeming humanity and the world and I just need to open my eyes and participate.  Right now, my prayers sound like this:

“God, I hope that my family gets saved.  Can you give me opportunities to share?”

“God, can you help the city’s helpless?  Can you give me opportunities to serve?”

I am learning to pray with expectation, which means that I hope they sound more like this:

“Father God, as You draw my family near to You, give me the confidence to love them and serve them.  When they ask about my life, give me the boldness to make much of You and little of me.”

“Father God, while You continue your redemption of humanity through the redemptive work of Jesus on the cross, give me eyes to see where I am already positioned to serve those around me.  Give me the courage to step up instead of waiting to be asked to help.”

May we be known as a people who pray with expectation, not hesitation.  May we be known as a people who desire the name of Jesus to be held up higher than our own name.  May we be known as a people who will pursue and participate in God’s redemptive work in our works, homes, cities, schools, and communities with passionate prayer that leads into action.

The Faithfulness of God

On February 1, I posted a blog called “Obedience: The Next Step.”  In that blog post I briefly explained Alison and I’s decision to leave Western Seminary, where I had been a full-time employee for nearly three years, and jump on staff at Awakening Church as a full-time pastor.  There was only one caveat.

Awakening Church could not pay me full-time until July, but needed me full-time as soon as possible.

We knew that God was calling us to jump on board at Awakening Church full-time.  We knew that meant leaving a job I loved that had provided so much for me and my family for the previous three and a half years, both as a student and as an employee.  But the reality that this step of obedience was exactly what  God wanted me to do weighed heavy on my heart.  And it began to reveal to me how much . . . no. . . how little I trusted God when the time came to act on my conviction.

On January 18, I put in my notice that February 16 would be my last day.  On February 1, I posted that we needed to raise $8,450.00 by March 1 in order for me to support my family until July 1.  On February 28, I was told that God had given the necessary funds for our transition through a group of people who had acted on their own conviction to support the Cruz family.  Through this whole process, these people have taught me more about obedience and faith and trust than I would have ever been able to learn on my own.  We wanted to publicly thank each by name as one way of showing our thanks.

This shallow thanks belies the depth of our gratitude; but it is a start.

Thank you Marshall!
Thank you Joan!
Thank you Dwayne and Dana!
Thank you Lowell and Judy!
Thank you Andrew, Carolyn, Kayley, and Shilo!
Thank you Mom!
Thank you Kyle, Carrie, Evelyn, Tobias, and numero tres!
Thank you Heidi!
Thank you Dave and Judy!
Thank you Chad and Heather!
Thank you Ryan Amanda, Hope, and Mercy!
Thank you Kristi!
Thank you John and Darlene!

Some of you we know extremely well.  Some of you we do not know well.  In either case, we cannot begin to express to you the depth of gratitude we have for demonstrating to us how God provides in ways that we cannot understand to those who step out in obedience to Him.

Imagine Your Legacy

I have been at Awakening Church for barely two months but I can assure you of this truth:  I am living my dream come true.  I am part of a team that loves Jesus and wants to share His beautiful gospel with everyone in the Bay Area.  I am part of a community that loves Jesus and wants to live out His gracious gospel in tangible and powerful ways.  I am part of a family that loves Jesus and longs to build on that legacy so that future generations would know of the love of God.  I hope and pray that you are encouraged to pursue fully and in sometimes frightening obedience the dreams that God had laid on your heart.

May God continue to bless you richly through the good news of Jesus, our King, who not only saves us from our sins but gives us an abundance of life today, and in the age to come, that far surpasses what we have experienced so far.  Imagine your legacy and pursue your King.

Obedience: The Next Step

I remember the first few steps Soleil took.  I wasn’t there, but I remember hearing about it.  She had wobbling the past few days and seemed nervous about fully committing herself to the idea of walking.  I am not surprised.  When she did try she often ended up on the floor, face planting it onto our soft carpet.  I’m almost positive it was painful every time.  Imagine my surprise, then, when I got a video of her taking her first steps at about nine months old.  The hardest one was the first one.  Committing to it meant following through.  Following through meant the potential of falling, but also the potential for an entirely new world to open up.  Ever since then, Soleil has been on the move.  She can walk, she can run, and now she can climb without fear.  All because of that first step.  The first step leads to the next step.

Obedience to God, especially in terms of following the dreams He has placed on our hearts, is a lot like learning how to walk again.  Often times we are afraid of the pain we must endure to learn how to find our center and balance.  The fear of failure overwhelms our desire to obey.  We almost miss the beauty of the new world because we are distracted by the limitations of the old world.  But obedience to God is so amazing in that, when you take that first step and commit to it, the next step and the next step after that become less difficult.  When that happens, before you know it, you are running in obedience after God.

Good-bye Western!  Hello Awakening!

That is exactly what has happened to the Cruz family these past few weeks.  In January, I joined the staff part-time at Awakening Church.  The work that God has for me to do there, though, requires full-time attention.  However, I was still at Western Seminary full-time.  We took the first step of obedience by cutting my hours back at Western Seminary, hoping to gradually swing into full-time ministry at Awakening Church.  But it appears God has other plans.

After taking that step, this next step has become easier to commit to.  February 16th will be my last day at Western Seminary.  And while I will be committing to full-time service at Awakening Church, they cannot yet afford to pay me full-time.  At first, I was afraid of what might happen if we took that step of faith.  I was afraid of face planting and experiencing pain.  I was afraid of not having enough money for food on the table or gas in the car.  I was afraid of not having enough money for health insurance for my newborn son or new clothes for my two year old daughter.  I was afraid.

But then I remembered my God and I realized, “I took the first step.  This next step, if I commit to it, should be easier.”  And it was.  I know that God will take care of our needs.  I know that God will give us what we need to survive.  He promises me in His word (Matt. 6:33).  I can trust our God.  And for that reason, we are taking the next step of obedience and stepping out in faith.

We Need Your Help

We need to raise $10,500.00 by March 1 in order to take care of our living expenses through June of this year.  Would you prayerfully consider if a next step of obedience for you is to financially or prayerfully support our mission?  If you feel led to donate, you can check out our website:  Imagine Your Legacy.  We have posted more information there about what to do.

Please pray for our family as we move forward in faith.  We know that our God is bigger than any of my fears because He is going to accomplish His mission, and He has invited me to participate.

Book Review: Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters

My daughter, Soleil, and I when she was almost one year old.

I was recently in small group with a bunch of dads who had daughters.  In this group, we decided to go through Dr. Meg Meeker’s book “Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Dad Should Know.”  To my surprise and delight, this book has changed my perspective and my approach to how I plan on raising my daughter.  At times it is incredibly difficult to read through the startling statistics of the world that my daughter is born into (not to say anything of what that world will be like when she gets older).  However, Dr. Meeker has plenty of great things to teach dads who are looking to love their daughters well.  Here are the top ten observations I had for each “secret,” and my takeaways from the chapter.

1. You are the most important man in her life.  Culture will affect and shape your daughter in incredibly subtle ways, but you and I, as fathers, will have the most influence on her self-perception as a woman.  Don’t underestimate our influence!
2. She needs a hero.  Your daughter will live her life asking you a subconscious question:  ”Am I worth the fight, Daddy?”  Be strict but be gracious. Pursue a balance between the two so that she confidently knows that the answer to her question is undoubtedly “Yes!”
3. You are her first love.  Every interaction you have with your daughter shapes her understanding of love.  Do not just tell her that you love her.  Tell her why you love her.  Though girls mature sooner than boys don’t overestimate her maturity.  Be patient, be ready, and calm.  Spend time with her and prepare yourself to persevere during the tough years.
4. Teach her humility.  Teach your daughter who she is, where she comes from, and where she’s going.  Teach her that she does not deserve anything but that everything she has is a gracious gift.  Teach her to serve others.  Be the example.
5. Protect her, defend her.  Your daughter’s sexuality will be under attack way earlier than you think and much sooner than you’d wish.  Start now and build a plan to protect her from those attacks.  Teach her about her body and about sex, but please  let her be a kid.  You will know when it’s time to tell your daughter.
6. Pragmatism and grit: two of your greatest assets.  Teach your daughter to be a pioneer (one who strives to move forward without intimidation), but show her she’s a princess (that she has value).  Don’t let your daughter make herself out to be a victim.  You must save work energy for interactions at home to teach her these things.
7. Be the man you want her to marry.  The man your daughter marries will be a reflection of you: good or bad.  Live committed to your family.  Model life.  Stop keeping secrets.  Live your life as a man of integrity.
8. Teach her who God is.  Kids understand the spiritual.  She needs help and hope.  You will fail.  She needs to know that you sense someone greater.  Teach her to fail well.  Your daughter will view God through the lens of “father.”  Understand that and point her to Jesus.  That means you need to know Him well, even when you don’t always like Him.
9. Teach her to fight.  Teach her that you can guide her.  Treat her at sixteen with the same commitment, the same guidance, and the same parental fortitude that you did when she was three.  Focus on the important things: honesty, integrity, humility.  Clarify your morals.  Be clear.  Be diligent.  Teach her to say no and mean it.
10. Keep her connected.  Spend time with her.  Teach her about relationships.  Interact with her in actual reality: cyber reality feels “real” but is faker than anything else in this world and is more dangerous.  Live your life with her in a way that clearly demonstrates the difference.

RECOMMENDED:  YES

Generally, Dr. Meeker does a great job of pumping you up to fight for your daughter.  To fight for her body.  To fight for her mind.  To fight for her soul.  To fight for your relationship with her.  To fight for your place in her life.  She demonstrates well the very real danger that exists in the world for ladies and the crucial role that fathers play in that world to prepare her for what’s in store.  I highly recommend this book so that all fathers can know these ten secrets and devote themselves to living a life that honors God by being a steward of one of His most precious gifts: a daughter.